When Skies Get Rough
by Vixi89
Summary: When a particularly difficult case leads Harry and Nikki towards the inevitable, will they give into temptation and risk their friendship in the process? H/N
1. Chapter 1

**So I've been gone for months. There's no excuse. But basically I missed writing, so here I am, back with a bit more H/N love. Enjoy all x**

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**When Skies Get Rough**

_I wont give up on us_

_Even if the skies gets rough_

_I'm giving you all my love,_

_I'm still looking up_

(I won't give up, Jason Mraz)

*.*.*

It'd been one of the most difficult cases you'd both encountered. Nikki had, of course, claimed she was fine. Feigned nonchalance to you and Leo, but you weren't buying it.

The murder of a baby was horrific enough, but when the murderer was the infant's own brother, a 14 year old boy jealous of the attention placed on his newborn sister, that was another matter entirely.

It had been a long and arduous task completing the final paperwork for the case, but it was finally over and you'd been convinced that Nikki would benefit as much as you from a drink that Wednesday evening.

When she'd turned you down, you knew instinctively that she'd been more affected by the past fortnight than she'd ever let on, so you'd turned up on her doorstep, a bottle of South African Pinot Grigio in each hand and an offer to keep her company while she pondered the existence of evil in the world.

You can't quite put your finger on what was different about this particular evening, but you felt just as relaxed, content and, dare you say it, _tempted_ as usual.

Tempted to do the things you know would ruin the best relationship you've ever had (albeit a very platonic one). Tempted to explore the consequence of your dreams being turned into a reality.

You know you'd never act on these temptations but sometimes it's just so hard… when she flicks her hair as she whips round excitedly to question you about your day; when she's cooking or watching a film with a complicated plot with her tongue ever so slightly sticking out; when she licks her lips…

…or like now, when she's suddenly in floods of tears.

At first you had no idea what had triggered it. The documentary on the television was about Britain's declining wildlife or something similar and you didn't think your choice of wine was _that_ bad.

It was then you realised it had all just got too much. And you were glad you'd called in on her and could share in her grief, instead of letting her suffer on her own as you knew she'd have done otherwise.

It was one of the very many things you loved about Nikki Alexander- her ability to care for, love and grieve for those she barely knew. She is one of the most emotional people you know and though you hate seeing her like this, you adore witnessing how dedicated she is both to her work and life in general.

"Nik, come here." You find yourself subconsciously pulling her against you on the sofa. Your arms wrap around her comfortably as her head is supported on your shoulder and you're rocking her gently as the sobs work their way through her petite frame.

"Let it all out Nik. It's been a tough few weeks. Just let it all out."

You managed to hear a soft "sorry" through the tears.

"You've nothing to be sorry for. You did a brilliant job on a difficult case and you just need time to grieve."

"I'm such a hopeless, over-emotional wreck", she says, half sobbing, half laughing.

"Not at all Nik. You're just an incredibly caring person. And you shouldn't always think you have to handle these things on your own. You turned me down for a drink earlier and if I'd not turned up here, you'd be in this state _on your own_ with no one to hug you, pass you tissues", you reach across to the side table and grab a handful of tissues, "and pour you more wine".

"Thank you Harry."

"No need. I just hate to think of you alone and upset like this. You're my best friend Nikki Alexander and I want to…"

"Before you even have a chance to comprehend what's happening or the impending consequences, her lips are on yours and her hands are in your hair.

You've never experienced a kiss like this with Nikki before. So hasty and emotionally charged and so desperate to be something much more.

You begin to melt against her as a thousand scenarios race through your brain. Nine hundred and ninety nine of these scenarios end either here on the sofa or in the bedroom across the hall.

You curse then when your brain pauses on the one scenario in which everything you currently have is destroyed by the outcome of one of the previous scenarios.

Gently tearing your lips from hers you ask the one question most would deem irrelevant by this stage and you once again curse yourself for your deep commitment to this friendship.

"Nikki. Stop a moment. Is this what you want?"

"Harry?"

"I mean, is this _really _what you want or are you doing this as the result of a desperately difficult few weeks at work and a ridiculous amount of wine?"

"Will you just 'shh' for once Harry Cunninghm and kiss me."

You can't help notice that her words are now extremely slurred. You know she's had one too many glasses of wine, but you also know she's drunk far more than this in your company before and things have never escalated to this.

You pause for a moment longer, staring deep into her eyes while she stares intently at your lips. You're almost convinced you're about to leave, to play the 'sensible Harry' card and walk out, until she raises her eyes up to meet yours and you realise, after all these years, just how much she loves you.

In one single motion, you scoop Nikki Alexander off the sofa and into your arms and within seconds you're both lying on her bed breathing heavily and smiling like teenagers in love.

"Harry? Are you alright?"

As you lean over her, taking in her beauty and ever so slightly dilated pupils, you realise you don't want your first time with Nikki to be like this; alcohol-fuelled and on a whim.

"I've got to go, Nikki."

"What?"

You hate being the one to cause that hurt look on her face, but you can't see how the outcome of this situation will end in anything other than total disaster as far as your friendship is concerned.

"I'm going to go Niks. You've had a lot to drink and this isn't really what you want. I'd feel like I was taking advantage."

"It_ is_ what I want. I want this Harry… Maybe it's _you _that doesn't want it?"

"Don't be ridiculous Nik-"

"Yes, foolish, ridiculous Nikki believing that you'd have me. Let's all have a good laugh at ridiculous Nikki. Go on Harry, no need to stay on account of keeping me happy, just _go_."

"But Nik-"

"No really Harry, just go. I _want _you to go."

"I really am sorry Nik. But I know this isn't what you need right now. This isn't what you want."

There are now endless tears streaming down her face and you can hardly bear to look.

"This_ really _isn't what you want Nikki." You say once more, trying to convince _yourself _more than anything.

"Just get OUT Harry." She screams as she slams the door in your face.

You can barely believe what's just happened. You suspect it'll be a while before the enormity of the situation fully dawns on you. You've possibly just lost the best friend you'll ever have.

You slump back against the front door and slide all the way down till you are sitting with your head in your hands. You can hear, almost_ feel_ Nikki sobbing through the door and you wonder whether she is sitting on the other side, unable to move, miserable, just like you.

You're just about to gain composure and make your way home when, through the sobs you hear her cry, "I do want you. I _need you_ Harry."

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**More chaps on the way if you fancy. Next one from Nikki's perspective. 4/5 chaps in total I'm hoping. I do love a cheeky review so if you have a spare few minutes...**


	2. Chapter 2

**This Chapter's a bit shorter, but hopefully I'll get the next one up extra quick. From Nikki's perspective:**

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_And in the end you're still my friend_

_At least we did intend for us to work_

_We didn't break, we didn't burn_

_We had to learn how to bend_

_Without the world caving in_

(I won't give up, Jason Mraz)

You're not sure how long you've been slumped against the door. You know all of this is your fault. You'd sounded like you were blaming _him_. Yelling at him to get out. But you know you caused all this.

The worst thought of all, in amongst all your incoherent, drunken speculation, is that, had you not shouted, yelled and pushed him away, he might still want you.

You relive the few brief moments you were in his arms, his lips upon yours and you wonder why you've never felt that way before. The way you couldn't focus on anything else other than him (you're pretty sure this wasn't just drunken blurriness), the way you never wanted him to let you go, the way you could almost hear him telling you just how much he loves you. Though you know he hadn't, in that moment you could imagine a time when he would.

Harry Cunningham could have been your 'happy ever after'.

But the second you'd suffered his rejection, you felt yourself recoil with the anger and distrust you always carried after every lie, desertion or abandonment with every other guy.

It took you a few minutes, slumped against the door, sobbing into the wood, to realise that Harry was not every other guy. Nor had he lied, deserted or abandoned you.

Nikki Alexander, you, you are a fool.

After years of believing that you and he were destined to be 'just friends', you find it excruciating to even dare to hope that Harry Cunningham could ever _really_ love you. You find it even more excruciating to think that by revealing your true, tempestuous and distrusting side, you may have lost him forever.

Your sobs finally cease and in the newfound silence you surmise that the only remnants of the devastating and explosive stand-off is your crumpled body at the bottom of the door and the salty trails caressing your cheeks.

There's a feeble knock against the door.

You're under no illusions as to who is on the other side and your heart swells slightly when you realise that he has been sat on the other side of your front door for just as long as you.

Story of yours and Harry's relationship. So damn close, but never quite within reach.

Or maybe that should be, 'so damn close but so damn stubborn'.

You open the door and before you're even one hundred percent sure it's Harry standing there, his lips are upon yours once more.

Now you're a thousand percent sure.

You've never known a kiss like it. Once which holds so much promise and love.

"Nikki. Don't hate me. I left because-"

You put a single finger to his lips and look deep into his glistening green eyes.

"Harry, please don't. I should never have shouted. I don't know what I was thinking."

"I blame the wine to be quite honest."

You can't help but notice the mischievous smile creep onto his lips, so contagious it creeps right across onto yours.

"Yes, please lets blame the wine. I was horrible. I feel terrible. I promise, no more shouting."

"Oh really? No more shouting? What happened to blaming it all on the wine? You can't have sobered up already."

"No, I just meant I-"

"Oh, I see, cried it all out did you?"

"How do you know I was crying?"

"Oh, weren't you? I just assumed we were doing the same thing on either side of that blasted door."

"You were crying?"

"I might have shed just one. In a very manly manner you understand."

"Of course."


	3. Chapter 3

**_Another short, but hopfully sweet, chapter. Just 4 hours of SW left of this Series... eek._**

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_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily_

_I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make_

(I won't give up, Jason Mraz)

You find yourselves smiling and staring. Just smiling. And staring. And you don't ever want to move.

"So shall we get a drink? And a blanket perhaps, because incase you hadn't noticed, while you've been sat in here, nice and cosy, I've been freezing my arse off _outside _the door."

"Harry, don't make me feel worse than I already do."

"Hmmm, well I suppose I can forgive you with a cup of tea as payment."

"I only have coffee. Ran out of teabags last week."

You give her your best, pretend 'I can't believe you just said that and I'm really upset' face.

"Oh Harryyyy. You're making me out to be a right cow."

"Well, if the shoe fits…"

For that you receive a not-so-surprise slap across the arm.

"Ok, so I'm a horrible friend, but don't go calling me a cow or you'll find yourself in very hot water pal!"

"Interesting. Are we talking 'Jacuzzi' hot water or 'just boiled the kettle and am willing to throw it at you' hot water?"

You grin from ear to ear as you watch her flick the switch to set the kettle to boil, all the while keeping eye contact with you.

"Pity, think of the fun we could have splashing around in a Jacuzzi!"

You'd said it quietly, but just loud enough to be heard and you felt a sense of smugness when, out of the corner of your eye, you caught her fighting a smile in reaction to your comment.

You quickly turn on the television, more as a method of distracting your brain from picturing Nikki in a bikini than out of any interest in a particular programme.

An hour later and you've settled into your usual positions on the sofa. Coffee drunk, it was a natural progression from separate ends of the sofa, to finding the blanket (which conveniently is only big enough for you both when you are lying next to each other), to Nikki leaning on your shoulder, arm draped over your stomach. Relaxed.

Except that you aren't relaxed. You're anxious. And confused.

This evening has gone from passionate (if a little alcohol fuelled) kissing, to full on arguing, followed by crying, reconciliatory kissing, tea, and now the 'usual' TV and sofa experience.

The kissing had ended. In fact, you now realise that the kissing had only happened at two high-tension, emotional moments and perhaps that was the only reason for said kisses.

It would feel awkward to try and kiss her now, wouldn't it? Whilst everything's so… normal.

Suddenly you're not so sure.

"Nikki?"

"Mmm?"

She looks up and gazes sleepily into your eyes. Her lips so close to yours you could lean forward an inch or two and touch them.

So you do. And she responds. And you can't help but think that every time you kiss her, you fall a little more in love with her, if that's even possible.

"Harry, do you want to…"

She gestures towards the bedroom and you feel your stomach sink an inch or two for the second time that evening. You can't explain it, but somehow you know that tonight is not the night for you two to explore_ that _just yet, though god knows there's nothing else you'd rather be doing.

"Nikki, don't get mad. I just… It wouldn't feel right. I think too much has happened tonight. I _want to_, don't get me wrong, I just-"

"Don't Harry. I understand. Thank you. For everything."

"Everything?"

"For having the sense to walk away from me earlier, for not walking away when I was so awful to you, for forgiving me."

"And for the kissing?"

"Yes, Harry. Definitely for the kissing. I very much enjoyed the kissing."

"I knew you would. Everyone does."

Cue another playful punch to the arm.

"But _yours _is the only opinion that matters obviously" you continued.

You take her sleepy smile as your cue to leave and though you can hardly bear it, somehow within minutes, you're standing at the front door enjoying another mind-blowing kiss.

"Mmm. I love kissing you" She murmurs against your lips.

"Well you just wait Nicola Alexander, because if you enjoy _this,_ you're going to _love_ what comes next."

"Is that a promise?"

You offer her your curled 'pinky' finger as a sign that you mean it and with that, you leave, an unbreakable grin on your face.

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**Hopefully you like the direction this is going... although I'll admit I do love to string it out! Keep reviewing if you're liking.x**


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